RPG Corner: Joke Magic Items

Happy April Fools! Have I got some great magic items for you! They never break! *bangs item against table* It broke…

These are all auto-attune cursed items built for D&D 5e. When you attempt to identify these items they become attuned to you!

First up on the list, Quarterstaff of Smells!
When attuned to this quarterstaff you smell like cow manure no matter how hard you scrub. Once the attunement is broken the smell dissipates in 1d4 days. You feel compelled to never remove the quarterstaff from your person while attuned.

Now, Torch of Neverlight!
When attuned to this torch you see bright light as dim light and dim light as…dim light. Both before and after attuning the torch cannot be lit by any means short of being on the plane of fire. You feel compelled to never remove the torch from your person while attuned.

Next, Mask of Forget
When attuned to this mask you feel compelled to wear it, DC 15 Wisdom save to resist every dawn. When you don the mask you forget who you are, but you still retain your ability scores and proficiencies. DC 15 Wisdom save to remove the mask, also at dawn. You feel compelled to never remove the mask from your person while attuned.

Another! *breaks coffee mug on floor* Amulet of Never Drunk
When attuned to this amulet you cannot get drunk, no matter how hard you try! You can still get alcohol poisoning, so watch out! You feel compelled to never remove the amulet from your person while attuned. (I recommend giving this to the party’s drunken dwarf.)

Finally, Deaf’s Embrace
When attuned to this cloak you feel compelled to wear it and call yourself Deaf Himself. While wearing the cloak you are deafened. You feel compelled to never remove the cloak from your person while attuned.

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